April 16, 1999
Then put your tax dollars to work. Call the herpetology division of the University of Kansas Natural History Museum, and Linda Trueb, or a helper, will soothe your worried mind.
Actually, if your question is any of the three I've mentioned, don't call Trueb. The museum curator of herpetology has already fielded those questions, and today I'll tell you how she answered them.
First, the snaky-basement issue. In Kansas, the serpent most likely to be there is the black rat snake, Trueb says. The reason for its presence is that as subdivisions spread into snake habitat, they eradicate snake dens.
The snake can enter any hole, even small gaps around pipes, and is an accomplished climber. Unfortunately, it likes to den in the same place year after year.
A product called "Snake Away" won't work, Trueb says. Neither will mothballs.
Instead, check for points of entrance into your basement and seal them. Then call an exterminator to remove resident reptiles.
Now about that box turtle with the bubbling nose? The story here begins with a phone call.
The turtle seemed sick, the woman told Trueb, and wouldn't open its eyes.
So Trueb asked a few questions, and gradually the truth slid out: the woman had accidentally thrown the turtle into the washing machine with a load of sheets.
When you dry the sheets, Trueb advised her, leave the turtle out.
OK, on to the five-legged frog.
They're the result of "development gone awry," Trueb says.
Sometimes, the freaky creature is a singular accident. But it also may result from high levels of environmental pollution and, therefore, be a cause for general concern.
Trueb says, "We encourage people to bring us the animals with information about exactly where they found them." The museum keeps a log of these freaks and looks for patterns.
Of course, it's not easy to reverse environmental incursions, as yet another call to Trueb demonstrates.
The caller had been trying to plant chestnut trees on heavily farmed bottomland. Small mammals called voles had been destroying the trees. The caller wondered where to score a bunch of breeding snakes and how to reestablish them on the land.
His goal was to turn voles and other rodents into snake chow. Trueb told him that king snakes, copperheads and black rat snakes were his best bet.
She said that the absence of snakes was, no doubt, a result of habitat destruction.
"But I also pointed out," she says, "that until natural habitat was reestablished, it would be pointless to try to introduce animals."
It's not nice to fool with Mother Nature. But we have. So it's nice to know we've got friends at the Natural History Museum who will help us cope with the inevitable fallout of our fooling around.
Column by Roger Martin